Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Life is..

Life Is...

Life is... Life is a challenge - meet it.
Life is a gift - accept it.
Life is an adventure - dare it.
Life is full of sorrow - overcome it.
Life is a tragedy - face it.
Life is a duty - perform it.
Life is a game - play it.
Life is a mystery - unfold it.
Life is a song - sing it.
Life is an opportunity - take it.
Life is a journey - complete it.
Life is a promise - fulfill it.
Life is a beauty - praise it.
Life is a struggle - fight it.
Life is a goal - achieve it.
Life is a puzzle - solve it.
Life is full of love - love it.

sigh.. where is my life going to?..

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Severed Cable in Mediterranean

19 Dec 2008

Internet and telephone communications between the Middle East and Europe were disrupted after three undersea cables connecting Italy and Egypt in the Mediterranean Sea were damaged.

The failures cut the flow of “data of various kinds” between Europe and the Middle East, and there’s no timeframe for when communications will be restored, said Sanjeev Gaur, director of assurance at Reliance Globalcom Ltd. in India. France Telecom SA, which plans to send a maintenance boat to fix the problem, said the situation should be back to normal by Dec. 31.

Three cable systems carrying more than 75 percent of traffic between the Middle East, Europe and America were damaged, according to the U.K.’s Interoute Plc, which operates a fiber- optic data network connecting 92 cities. The cables run from Alexandria in northern Egypt to Sicily in southern Italy. In January, an anchor severed the cables outside Alexandria after bad weather conditions forced ships to moor off the coast.

“The information we have is a bit sketchy, but chances are that it will have been an anchor again,” Jonathan Wright, Interoute’s director of wholesale products, said in a telephone interview. “Close to 90 percent of all the data traffic between Europe and the Middle East is carried on these three cable systems.”

The rerouting slowed some traffic to about half its normal speed, Laughlin said. Point-to-point customers still don’t have connections, and Verizon doesn’t have information on how many subscribers are affected. The company expects repairs to be completed by early next week, she said.

Internet traffic “from Mumbai to London has now been rerouted via Hong Kong which may lead to congestion and increased latency on this route,” Reliance said in an e-mailed “traffic disruption update,” adding that it is working with the affected customers to restore all services. The company said it will publish another update on its Web site tomorrow.

“You can reroute the data through other cables, but that increases traffic and can potentially create bottlenecks,” Interoute’s Wright said. “So Internet connections may slow down and some phone calls could get disrupted.”

Weather, Sea Conditions

Some of Interoute’s clients in the U.K. and Southern France are probably affected by the failure, Wright said.

“It’s difficult to forecast how long it will take to fix the problem as it depends on the weather and sea conditions in the Mediterranean,” Wright said. A fault is affecting the SMW4 cable near the Alexandria cable station, the FLAG FEA cable is down and the SMW3 cable system is also affected, according to information received from Telstra. Flag Telecom Group Ltd., a Reliance Globalcom unit, operates FLAG FEA and the other cables are owned by groups of phone companies across the regions.

Reliance Globalcom doesn’t know exactly what happened and engineers are working on the problem, said Anurag Joshi, head of the company’s global network operations center. The SMW4 cable, also known as SEA-ME-WE 4or South East Asia-Middle East-Western Europe 4 cable network, connects 12 countries: Pakistan, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Bangladesh, India, Sri Lanka, United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Italy and France.

France Telecom said one of its maintenance boats in the Mediterranean area is headed to the region for a relief mission with 20 kilometers of spare cable on board.

Priority will be to recover the SEA-ME-WE 4 cable, then the SEA-ME-WE 3 cable, France Telecom said, adding that Sea Me We4 could be operating by Dec. 25 and the situation should be back to normal by Dec. 31 [via Bloomberg].

- demn, there goes the line in malaysia..

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Temuduga Tertutup

SEMUA AKAN DIKEHENDAKI HADIR TANPA SEBARANG PENGECUALIAN

KEKOSONGAN JAWATAN:
A. Ahli Syurga Dari Awal.
B. Ahli Neraka Dari Awal.
C. Ahli Neraka Sementara Kemudian Akan Dilantik Jadi Ahli Syurga.

EMPAT GANJARAN LUMAYAN (khas untuk jawatan A):
1. Nikmat kubur.
2. Perlindungan di Padang Mahsyar.
3. Keselamatan Meniti Titian Sirat.
4. Syurga yang kekal abadi.

TARIKH TEMUDUGA:
Bila-bila masa secara adhoc bermula dari saat membaca iklan ini.

LOKASI TEMUDUGA:
Di dalam kubur (alam barzakh).

KELAYAKAN:
Anda tidak perlu bawa siji-sijil,termasuk sijil saham termasuk saham Internet.
Anda tidak perlu bawa pingat , Mercedes mata belalang atau kad kredit.
Anda tidak perlu bawa wang atau harta serta emas yang anda kumpul.
Anda tidak perlu berparas rupa yg cantik, hensem atau berbadan tegap atau seksi.
Sila bawa dokumen asal iaitu : Iman dan Amal serta sedekah jariah sebagai sokongan.

PANEL/PENEMUDUGA:
Mungkar dan Nakir.

ENAM SOALAN BOCOR:
1. Siapa Tuhan anda?
2. Apa Agama anda?
3. Siapa Nabi anda?
4. Apa Kitab anda?
5. Di mana Kiblat anda?
6. Siapa Saudara anda?

CARA MEMOHON:
Anda cuma perlu menunggu penjemput yang berkaliber untuk menjemput anda. Ia akan menjemput anda pada bila-bila masa saja (mungkin sekejap lagi). Ia akan berlembut kepada orang-orang tertentu dan akan bengis kepada orang-orang tertentu.

Ia diberi nama Izrail.

TIPS UNTUK BERJAYA DALAM TEMUDUGA TERTUTUP INI:
Hadis Hasan yang diriwayatkan oleh Ahmad Hanbal, yang bermaksud begini:

Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W:

"Sesungguhnya apabila jenazah seseorang itu diletakkan di dalam kuburnya, sesungguhnya jenazah itu mendengar suara (terompah kasut) orang-orang yang menghantarnya ke kubur pada saat mereka meninggalkan tempat itu. Jika mayat itu seorang muslim, maka solat yang dilakukannya ketika beliau masih hidup di dunia akan diletakkan di kepalanya, puasanya diletakkan disebelah kanannya, zakatnya diletakkan di sebelah kirinya dan amalan kebajikan daripada sedekahjariah, silaturrahim, perkara kebajikan dan ihsan diletakkan dihujung dua kakinya." Ia akan didatangi malaikat dari aras kepala, maka solat itu berkata kepada malaikat : dari arasku tidak ada jalan masuk. Kemudian malaikat berpindah ke sebelah kanan, maka puasa berkata kepadanya : dari arasku tidak ada jalan masuk. Kemudian malaikat berpindah kesebelah kiri, maka zakat berkata kepadanya : dari arasku tidak ada jalan masuk.

Kemudian di datangi dari arah kedua hujung kakinya dan berkatalah amal-kebajikan : di bahagianku tidak ada jalan masuk. Maka malaikat berkata kepadanya : Duduklah kamu. Kepadanya (mayat) memperlihatkan matahari yang sudah mula terbenam, lalu malaikat bertanya kepada mayat itu : Apakah pandangan kamu tentang seorang laki-laki (Muhammad) yang kamu dahulu sentiasa bercakap tentangnya; dan bagaimana penyaksian kamu kepadanya? Maka berkata mayat itu : Tinggalkan aku sebentar, aku hendak sembahyang. Maka berkata malaikat : Sesungguhnya engkau akan mengerjakan solat (boleh saja solat) tetapi jawab dahulu apa yang kami tanya ini. Apakah pandangan kamu tentang seorang laki -laki (Muhammad) yang kamu dahulu sentiasa bercakap tentangnya; dan bagaimana penyaksian kamu kepada nya? Maka berkata mayat itu: Laki-laki itu ialah! Nabi Muhammad S.A.W dan aku naik saksi bahawa nabi Muhammad saw itu ialah pesuruh Allah yang membawa kebenaran daripada Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala. Maka malaikat berkata kepada mayat itu : Demikianlah kamu dihidupkan dan begitu juga kamu dimatikan dan dengan demikian juga kamu dibangkitkan semula diakhirat insya'Allah. Kemudian dibuka baginya satu pintu syurga, maka dikata padanya itulah tempat kamu dan itulah janji Allah bagi kamu dan kamu akan berada di dalamnya. Maka bertambahlah gembira mayat itu. Kemudian dilapangkan kuburnya seluas 70 hasta dan disinari cahaya baginya".

Sila war-warkan tawaran jawatan kosong ini kepada semua sahabat.

Wallahu-a'lam. Semoga berjaya dalam temuduga ini.
Sila lihat tawaran-tawaran lain sebelum menjadi jenazah

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Differences Between Wife & Girlfriend

Wife is a HARIMAU, girlfriend is HARI HARI MAU

And some say: Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Hand phone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but hand phone is cute, slim,

curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable, but for HP is high and often

demanding,

Most important, TV got remote but HP don't have..

Last but not least,

TV do not have virus, but HP yes.. have VIRUS, once get it, HABIS LA. .

so better choose TV

Upgrade to LCD or Plasma TV (Slim and Chun)

Less maintenance too especially they are easy on the electricity bills.

Is good to be safe than sorry.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Husband 1.0

Husband 1.0

FROM: Jane
TO: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installs many other valuable programs such as Dinner Dancing 7.5, Cruise Ship 2.3, and Opera Night 6.1. It also installs new, undesirable programs such as Poker Night 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs. When I click on it, the system crashes. Under no circumstances will it run Diaper Changing 14.1 or House Cleaning 2.6.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!

*************************************************************************


FROM: Tech Support
TO: Jane
Subject: Upgrade Dangers

Yours is a common problem women complain about and is mostly due to a misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support". You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with Heart Break 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fat Belly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as Fix Broken Things 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and Best Friend 7.6.

A final word of caution! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother in Law 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until Mother In Law 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!